Bags Plus Double Bags

Sometimes when I am at work, I shake in my own pants. Yep. I get so scared. I'm like, "Lord please don't let anybody go off." It is bad. Tonight I was sitting there listening to a bad conversation going on in the hallway while I watched City of Angels with a bunch of girls. So I wasn't really paying attention to the movie, becuase I was zoned out thinking, "my ass is grass tonight." Then a girl asked me, "So, what just happened, who is that guy?" And I honestly had no clue. I just had to say, "I'm sorry. I wasn't listening to the movie. I was zoned out." Basically, the conversation was being led by a girl who really can't stand me. She was angry that I threatened to hang up the phone if she didn't get off and simply just because I'm Ms. Starnes. She was like, "I swear, I don't want Ms. Starnes to say another word to me." I sat there thinking, "What did I do to deserve this?"
An hour later, I was sitting calmly in the kitchen wondering, "How did this happen? How did we keep this dorm from going off?" It was simply amazing.
Last night I had the same feeling in my stomach, butterflies. I sat uptight and ready to jump if necessary. I assumed that we were going to have a rough bedtime. I was mentally reviewing all my SCM skills and wondering who was skilled out and knowing their locations at all times. But, guess what, nothing happened. I wasted all that energy thinking and worrying when I could have been using it to build relationships with these girls. So tonight makes two great nights in a row for Pelletier. I am ashamed of my pessimisim. I cannot believe how much this job has made me recognize my weaknesses. I must stop making assumptions about these kids just because their past behaviors point straight to negativity. Stories like the following one are great examples of how I should never give up on one of the kiddos. Last night right before bedtime in the middle of me writing off the night as a failure, a girl who I had been having issues with took up for me. She told her peer, "Stop being mean to Ms. Starnes. That's my friend." I wanted to run and give her a huge hug and thank her greatly. It meant so much to me. She is the girl who a few weeks ago said to another staff, "Please sit over here Ms. Hall because I don't want a certain staff to sit by me." I was that certain staff and it was obvious. She constantly mumbled bad things about me under her breath. The first step in our make-up was after school this past Monday. She said, "This morning I had bags plus double bags under my eyes." I just thought that was hilarious, and I must have laughed for five minutes about it -- in the typical Jenny fashion, of course. She enjoyed this. Later that night, she sat down and did Origami with me. She had never been so eager to sit with me and do my activity. Therefore, I said, "A----, I really appreciate you being so nice to me today and participating in Origami." She said, "Well, you made me feel so funny earlier." And that was a wonderful moment. After she went to sleep, I left her a note under her door restating my comment and encouraging her to remain positive, and things have been wonderful with her since then. (knock on wood.) The next night, she was managed and sent to time-out. I processed with her and somehow we both ended up crying, and this also strengthened our relationship. I've realized that she really appreciates me leaving notes under her door, and if that is all it takes, I'll do it everyday. Of course, leaving notes is right up my alley anyway!
My next subject to mend my relationship with: K------ or A-------. I can do it. Yes I can. I'll keep you posted.
Well, I sort of got off track with this, but I just wanted to write a little about work.

Happy Birthday BEN!!!